At a young age I learned about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I learned about heaven and was taught how Christians should act. Over the years I learned how to say the right words and act the right way without actually making a real change in my life. From time to time I would feel guilty about my actions so I would make a professions of faith or recommit my life. I would make outward changes in my lifestyle, changes which could easily be modified depending on who I was around while not changing anything inside.
I wanted people to believe that I was a Christian while at the same time still wanting to continue with the same thoughts and behavior in secret. Around other Christians I could act like a Christian and around non-Christians I could act like a non-Christian. I had a foot planted firmly on both sides of the fence, and I was miserable.
This continued until March of 1997 when God convicted me that it was time to stop playing games, that I had been playing games and it was time to stop the pretence.
He showed me this while listening to a sermon over wheat and tares in Matthew 13:24-30. Wheat and Tares look just alike and itís hard to tell them apart. I was the tare, looking like wheat but good for nothing. When it came time for the harvest the wheat was gathered into the barn and the tares were gathered and burned.
Thatís where I saw my future. I was a tare (someone pretending to be a Christian) hiding in a field of wheat (other Christians) and was good for nothing but serving myself.
I got real with God that day. He showed me in Romans 5:8 He would take me as I was right then and there. He knew exactly who and what I was and it didnít matter. It only mattered that I accept Him and trust Him right then and there. That is when I discovered that change was possible. Thatís when He showed me 2nd Corinthians 5:17 and I learned that without Christ there can be no change.
Has life gotten easier and become beds of roses since that time? No. There have been hardships and struggles, which is all part of being in this world. But Jesus made a promise to those who believe and trust in Him. John 16:33 He says, ďThese things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take Courage; I have overcome the world.Ē
What is holding you back from getting right with God? What is standing between you and Jesus? If you are trying to make a change before coming to Him you will fail. Come to Him first and let Him change you. Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not as a result of works so that no man may boast.